25/365: Our New Routine

When we lived in the Lakes Region, Olivia and I had a dance class day tradition of getting a blueberry muffin at a local coffee shop.  You can read about one of those adventures here.  Since moving to Stratham we have found a new place for our Wednesday morning dance class routine.  There is this local place called Country View Restaurant.  The kids call it "The Moose Place" because it has a picture of a moose on the sign.  I had been here a few times with my parents over the course of my lifetime, but now it is "our place".  The waitresses all know us by name and take very good care of us whenever we are there.  Olivia orders a chocolate chip pancake and gets chocolate all over her face.  Donna, one of our waitresses, has a little girl and we will soon be getting together for a play date.  Maybe even some skiing.  We like the restaurant, even though Olivia's face in this photo tells a different story...

On a side note, the camera on my Droid is garbage.  I should have taken the plunge and got an iPhone (although it was far from FREE and I couldn't pass up FREE since I can't pay my heating bill...)

23/365

On Monday I got to spend another day with Olivia.  The snow was perfect for sledding and for building a snowman, so that is exactly what we did!

Sledding together was so much fun.  She is growing up, but she is still my baby girl.  When she sat on the sled between my legs she felt tiny.  I love to hug and squeeze her and kiss her beautiful face.  I am glad she tolerates all my loving.

Just look at her adorable face.  I just can't resist kissing those cheeks!

She named her snowman "Butterfly".  I think he is pretty "fly"... ha ha.  Oh boy, I am going to embarrass my kids when they are teenagers!

She talks to her snowmen.  She actually loves them and plays with them like they are real.  But, she does not cry when they melt.  She understands and gets excited to make a new one every time it snows!

Happy, happy Winter!!!

17/365: Mother/Daughter Time

Time with my kids is precious.  It always was pre-divorce, but seems to be of more critical importance now that the time is divided.  It is funny to me that before separating I longed for just one hour where I did not have to worry about anything except myself.  Getting away from my kids was AWESOME!  Now, every moment away from them is spent thinking about the next time I get to see them.  I won't go as far to say it is "torture" because it is not.  The time I have to myself these days is time I feel like I should have been given while we were married.  But, the time to myself these days is not fully appreciated because it took divorce to get it.  Every Sunday at my church we all hold hands at the end of the service and sing "Shalom".  I was holding hands with a couple about my age who also have kids.  The husband is Cameron's Sunday School teacher.  After the song, his lovely wife said, "How did you get to have a break from the kids today."  Well, I burst into tears.  The poor woman was saying what all of us mothers say to our friends or acquaintances who are "blessed" to be without their precious little ones for a moment.  We all usually laugh and say, "I know, isn't it fantastic?"  But, not this time.  When she asked the question, she had no idea that there was a custody situation.  When she asked the question, she had no idea that I was supposed to have brought them to church that morning, but didn't get the kids when I should have.  So, I cried and blurted out "custody" and felt terrible knowing that she felt terrible.  Her husband stood there awkwardly, wondering if he should just walk away.  He didn't.  She hugged me, said she was sorry and said it would get better.  She was kind and loving and I feel so badly that I made her feel uncomfortable.

Totally not the point of my photo for the day.  The point is that every moment I get to spend with my kids is a gift and I treat it as such.  Olivia and I had some alone time while Cam was in school yesterday so we took advantage of the beautiful day and did some sledding and snowshoeing.  When she got her snowshoes for Christmas she could not wait for it to snow so she could walk up to the fire tower with me.  I gave her the opportunity yesterday.  We got about 50 feet into it and suddenly, "I'm too tired, Mama.  I can't really walk."  I pleaded and prodded and bribed, but nothing worked.  The highlight of the walk was when she went under a fallen tree branch and it stole her hat off her head.  In about 10 minutes, the snowshoes were off her feet and she was running (yes, too tired to walk but she could run) through the park.  Ugh... ;)

Notice the body language here.  Totally not into the snowshoes. 

Ha ha!  The tree stole my hat :)

13/365: Baby, It's Cold Outside

The temperature has dropped significantly in NH over the past few days, which means it finally feels like winter.  The kids have been resisting putting on winter gear because it just hasn't been necessary for most of December and January.  Until today.  It was freezing!  And of course, today was the day that the bus forgot to show up and we were standing outside for twenty minutes.  We made the most of it, as we always do, and I got to spend some quality time with my kids.

I am a fan of winter.  I love the stillness of it all.  It is just so beautiful!

And speaking of beautiful, my children.  They bring joy to my life every single moment!

Here is to another four months of winter in New England.  Prepare yourselves :)

Tomorrow we try out our snowshoes!

8/365: My Daughter Won't Let Me Order Cake

My kids like to play restaurant.  Cameron writes the order down and Olivia "cooks" my meal.  I am always the customer.  They even give me a check.  Today they asked me to pay with real money!  (They gave it back to me).  They also take credit, just so you know.

Olivia had a turn being the waitress tonight.  When I finished my meal she asked if I wanted dessert.  Knowing we have a play cake, I asked for a piece.  She said "OK!" and started to walk away.  Suddenly, she stopped, turned around and said, "You can't have cake.  You need to have something healthy, like fruit and vegetables."  Ah, my kids are me.  I love it!

 

 

"Mommy, you can't have cake.  You can only have fruit and vegetables."

6/365: Easy Bake

No, I did not get my daughter an Easy Bake Oven for Christmas.  I bake with her in our real oven.  I know that just saying this makes me sound "superior" but that is not what I mean.  First, this oven is recommended for children 8 and older.  Olivia is 4.  Second, it is plastic.  Third, I have no idea what kind of chemicals and preservatives are in those cake mixes that require you to just add water.  Okay, I sound superior, but I don't care.  It is gross.

That being said, my daughter was delighted and elated and excited to have this magic oven, so this morning was Easy Bake Oven day.

I know that she will remember her Easy Bake Oven and we made memories together today.  That is all that matters.  I can still think it is gross, as long as I successfully hide my disdain from my daughter.  As you can see by her face, it was an enjoyable experience for her!

5/365: My Daughter Cracks Me Up

My daughter has toys, but she prefers to play with things that she finds around the house.  Tonight, while I was getting ready for bed, I glanced at my bathroom shelf and found this.  My knitted headband wrapped around a Willow Tree figurine.  I knew right away it was Olivia's doing.  Before finding this, while I was lying in bed reading books to the kids, Cameron asked if magic is real.  I said, "Yes, magic is real.  You two are magic.  Do you know how I know?  Because every time I look at you it makes me smile."  It's true.  These kids make me smile all the time, even when they are not in the room.  I am truly blessed.

Favorite Photo Friday

I am going through old photos, so I thought it would be great to get back to one of my regular blog post themes.

November 12, 2007
Just look at this chunky little monkey.  I want to gobble her up!
Toothless smile, chubby cheeks, drool... what's not to love.  I really miss the baby days, but I am happy for the memories and love that I have watched them grow into the beautiful, happy, healthy children they are today. 

Day 314 - October 12th, School Days

Cameron loves school.  He is an active participant and eager to learn.  He and Olivia have taken to playing school in the evening before dinner.  Cameron is actually teaching her math, and I think she is understanding it.  It is pretty cool to watch!

Day 201 - June 19, Pony Party

Olivia's birthday was last month, as you may recall, but we had another party for her.  Olivia loves horses, so we had another party for her at a local horse farm.  The party was wonderful.  The family who owns the farm runs the whole party.  I didn't have to do a thing!

Here is the 365 photo:

And here are some highlights from Olivia's wonderful day:

I think I need to encourage this passion she has for horses.  I see riding lessons in her future!!

Day 166 and 167 - Happy Birthday Olivia

Today Olivia turned 4!  I cannot believe another year has passed.  She came into this world in a frenzy and it has been a whirlwind ever since.  We celebrated her birthday yesterday with dear friends and family.  A rained-out BBQ turned into a cozy indoor party.  It's a good thing we all love each other!  We had a no presents party, but no one listened which made Olivia very happy.  Her friend Jackson, whose parents listened to me, came over to me after the presents were opened with tears in his eyes.  "Excuse me Amanda, we did not bring a present for Olivia."  I said, "It's OK Jackson, you didn't have to.  Your present is just being here because Olivia really wants to play with you."  He smiled and walked away.  Too sweet.

 Olivia loves horses.  We invited some friends and all of her family to yesterday's party and another party we will be having in June at a horse farm.  My thought was that most people would come to one or the other, but everyone who was invited (for the most part) is coming to both.  Lucky Olivia!!

Today's photo is a shot of some flowers Olivia received for her birthday from her Aunt, Uncle and cousins.  Olivia loves flowers and she was so happy to receive them.  The other day she was talking about her dance recital that is coming up and remarked that when she was done people would throw flowers on stage.  I couldn't help but laugh.  The girl loves Angelina Ballerina and I had to break the news that nobody would be throwing flowers.  I will give her a bouquet though.

MUD!!!

We made mud yesterday.  The photo club I am a member of meets tonight and our theme for the month was mud.  I couldn't find any interesting mud, so I decided to let the kids make some and play in it.

If you have time (and believe me, I know how precious time is), head on over to Gilford Clickers and see what my friends have posted.  :)

Day 148 - Did We Just Skip Spring??

I'm not one to complain too much about the weather.  I do live in New England, so I am used to crazy weather changes.  It snowed on Saturday and was 40 degrees.  Yesterday it was hot, humid and 80 degrees!  Spring is one of my favorite seasons.  I'm trying really hard not to complain, but is Spring becoming extinct?  60's and sunny with a cool breeze.  That is what I remember Spring being like.  Please come back Spring.  I miss you dearly.

I had a really hard time choosing which photo to put on here for my 365, so I will bless you with the top three.  (OK, it's five, but the last one is a collage so I am counting it as one)

My kids donned their summer clothes today.  In fact, I switched all of our closets and put our Winter coats away.  Olivia comes to all of Cameron's baseball games and she has such a fun time.  She plays with Nana and Grampa, runs around in the grass and helps me to take photos.  Toward the end of the game she put a blanket down and posed for me.  She had her hands under her chin as her pose, but my favorite one is when I caught her in-between poses.

Earlier that day we played outside with Grampa.  The baby got to enjoy some fresh air with us.  Cameron just adores this little guy.  I wish we would be around longer to see him grow.  

Cameron got his first hit in his first game of the season.  His first two at bats were unsuccessful, and he was getting a little discouraged.  Then he connected and he was so happy.  The first baseman for the other team, Sam, was just as happy.  The two just smiled and giggled at each other.  Then Sam started to knock on Cam's helmet.  It was funny to watch and to photograph.  The two had never met but you would never have known you were watching their very first interaction.

Now, do you see why I had such a hard time choosing??

Chalk Art

Even with the husband away all week I managed to get the kids dressed, fed and ready with an hour to spare before the bus came on two separate days.  I even fed the dogs and took them out, did laundry and dishes before 8 a.m.  It's days like those that I feel like a Supermom (even though I am far from one!)

On those days the kids and I went out to play at my parents house before school.  My Dad has an old RV that belonged to my Uncle who was a hoarder.  It is filled with stuff that the kids think are treasures.  One morning they found a bag of decorative river rocks.  They started out just making snowmen and faces with them, but then the creative juices started flowing and this is what they ended up with.  Can anyone tell what it is?

Day 121 - A Big Long Blog Post

I'm packing a whole lot of stuff into day 121.  Once again, 365 has taken over my blog, so I feel like I need to bring it back to its original Sweetness every once in a while.  Fasten your seatbelt, you are in for a long and bumpy ride today :)

Day 121 - Inside-Out Pajama Night

Cameron says that if you wear your pajamas inside-out and put a spoon under your pillow, there will be no school the next day.  So he heard from a friend today.  We are putting it to the test tonight.  Damien is trying to counteract our efforts, but we think we will prevail!

 

Tonight we had a special out to dinner treat at "Friendly's".  We had so much fun being silly and eating ice cream!  Olivia is putting on her "mad face" for the camera.  She's pretty good at that one!

So here is where the post gets "bumpy".

Yesterday was a tough day for Olivia after dance class.  While I was preparing lunch she was full of questions.  Some days there are so many questions (and yes I feel terrible about what I am going to admit to you) that I answer without really hearing the whole question.  Before you submit my name to "worst Mother of the year", hear me out!  This usually happens after the 100th question, while a baby is screaming, or I am cleaning up dog pee, or I am digging a spoon out of the garbage disposal.  This is usually when she asks the. most. important. question. of. the. day.  Of course, I do not realize this until it is too late.  I have already answered.  Damage is done.  I can only move on to damage control.

So, what was the most important question of the day today, you might be asking?  Here it is:

Olivia:  "Mommy, do polar bears die?" 

I know!  Doesn't seem like such a big deal, does it?  I didn't think so either, but here is my response  (mind you, I am fixing lunch, trying to quiet the barking dogs and warming up a bottle for the baby at this particular moment):

Me:  "Yes, polar bears die."

Again, I know, it sounds innocent and it is the truth, but it goes downhill from here.  I promise, I won't interrupt anymore.

Olivia:  "They do?  Do all animals die?"

Me:  "Yes, anything that is alive will eventually die."

Olivia:  "Why?"

Me:  "Well, it's the circle of life.  Plants and animals live and when they die they nourish the earth so that other things can live."

Olivia:  "Even people?"

OK, I'm going to interrupt again.  I realize that that last question was the most important one of the day.

Me:  "Yes, even people."

I know!  Terrible, right?  So matter-of-fact.  A reality check right in my soon-to-be four year old's innocent little face.  OK, you can submit my name, I'm a terrible mother!

What is worse than this response?  Well, the fact that I didn't even realize the impact until I joined her at the table a couple minutes later and she was staring up at me with what I can only describe as complete and total fear.  

Me:  "Are you OK?"

Olivia:  "Sit next to me, sit really close to me."

So, we are eating in silence for about a minute and then she puts her head down on the table.  She says she is full and she is tired and she doesn't feel well.  I'm thinking she has the virus that had me the past few days so I jump up and wash her hands and take her to the couch to snuggle.  I tell her it's OK, we can rest and cuddle and she will feel better soon.  I turn on PBS and we are snuggling really close.  I'm listening to her breathe and I feel her start to cry.  She says she is sick a few more times and I'm still thinking she is getting the flu.  Seriously, I felt like crying the past two days, so I was feeling her pain.  Finally, after about ten minutes of this she sits up and says:

"Mommy, I'm not sick.  I don't want to die.  That's why I'm crying.  I don't want to die.  I don't want you to die or Daddy or Cameron or Nana and Grampa or my friends or anyone to die ever."

Of course, then I started crying too.

I tried to console her and I started to talk about God and Heaven, but she did not want to hear it.  She was sick with worry.  I could see it in her face and hear it in her voice, "I want to always live here in this world, forever."  I was at a loss.  Talking about it made it worse, so I just held her and told her I would keep her safe.

I checked a book out of the library called "Lifetimes" about the life cycle of all things and how all living things have beginning and an ending, and in between is living.  Each lifetime is unique depending on what or who you are and what happens to you in your life.  It explained the lifetime of an oak tree, a vegetable garden, rabbits and mice, butterflies, birds, fish and people.

"Sometimes, living things become ill or they get hurt.  Mostly, of course, they get better again but there are times when they are so badly hurt or they are so ill that they die because they can no longer stay alive.  This can happen when they are young, or old, or anywhere in between."  She stopped me here and could not listen anymore.  She just does not want to hear about it. 

I think she wants me to tell her that she will live forever, but not forever in Heaven, forever here on Earth.  She wants me to tell her that everyone she loves (which is a lot of people) will live forever.  I also think that at her age, she does not understand the concept of time, so to her a long time could mean tomorrow.  Someone, please tell me where this fear is coming from in my almost four year old.  I am truly at a loss.

Day 113 - Arabesque Olivia-Style

Wednesday is dance class. Olivia loves it! She loves the music, the teacher, her friends, absolutely everything about it! Her favorite pose is arabesque. 

A conversation between Olivia and I usually goes like this:

Olivia:  "Mommy, where is Baby Cameron's Dad?"

Me:  "He's at work."

Olivia:  "Does he work at my school?"

Me:  "Yes, he works at the high school."

Olivia:  "You mean my pre-school."

Me:  "No, I mean the high school."

Olivia:  "You are being silly."

Me:  "No, honey, he's a science teacher at the high school."

Olivia:  "You mean my pre-school."

Me:  "No, honey, I mean the high school that your pre-school is attached to."

Olivia:  "No, it's the pre-school."

Me:  "Yes, you are right, he works at the pre-school."

Olivia and Mommy's Day of Fun!

 My husband is a Firefighter/EMT.  He has a new position in a fire department that is over an hour away from our house.  Yes, we will be moving sometime in the very near future.  Until then, he is away for many days at a time (four in a row, to be exact).  On the bright side, he is also home for four days in a row.  Sometimes his days home fall during the week, and sometimes on a day that Olivia is not in school.  These days are very special.  Olivia is the second child, and as such missed out on the one-on-one attention that her brother received as an infant and toddler.  On the days we are both home with her she gets to pretend she is an only child.

Our day started out reading stories from the kids childrens bible.  My Mom bought it for them a couple of months ago.  Cameron woke up and wanted to hear the story of Jonah and the Whale (inspired by a story in one of his shark books where a man is reported to have lived inside a whale shark for 15 hours).  After Cam left for school, Olivia wanted me to read the whole thing!  We compromised on two more stories.  

Then there were the dominoes!  I am looking forward to when she wants to play with these again!  I had fun! (Oh, and she did too).

Damien needed to study so he asked if I could take Olivia to the library so he could have a little quiet time.  Before we left she wanted to do one puzzle.  This one is her favorite, and actually, it is mine too!  She does the whole thing herself, although she pretends to need help.  She's so sweet to realize Mommy isn't ready for her to not need me anymore!

Then it was off to the library.  Our first stop is always the table right at the entrance where she does all the puzzles before we can move on.  We lucked out at the library.  I forgot that story time had started back up, so we stayed for that and got to do a craft.  Awesome!  Olivia picked out six books.  Her favorite one is "Shoe-La-La" by Karen Beaumont.  It's about a group of young girls who go shoe shopping.  Now Olivia wants a fancy pair of purple shoes... with heels!  Oh boy.  And of course, Grampa promised them to her, but only if she goes a week without wetting her pull-up at night.  I'll take that deal!

Olivia and I had a super fun, fantastic day, and it was even better because Daddy shared it with us!

We missed Cameron, but when he came home he joined in on all the fun!

Day 53 - Odeling Boots

Olivia is obsessed with "Jesse, the Odeling (Yodeling) Cowgirl" from Disney's Toy Story 2 and 3.  For Christmas she got the entire costume and she wears it almost every day.  The boots and hat are definitely her favorite parts.  I have been waiting for the day she wears the costume to the grocery store.  It hasn't happened yet.  I feel like she cares about it so much she doesn't want it out of the house for fear it will get lost, stolen or damaged!

BTW, I have no idea how she gets her feet in these positions without yelling in pain!  To be 3 again...

Day 52 - My Sweet Girl

 There are about 50 more of these photos, each one with a different expression.  She didn't catch on that I was taking photos of her for the first 30 shots, but when she did, she started to pour it on!

Her brother is playing a video game.  It is one of those very rare moments in our house when Mommy said yes.  I usually leave video games for a day when Damey is around, but it was cold and snowing (again) and we had already played outside.  We only own one video game for the Wii.  It's the one that came with it.  Today Cameron was biking.  Olivia was fascinated by it.

She doesn't really have any interest in playing the games, but she really gets into watching him play.  I was having such a fun time taking these photos, and I could not just pick one!

I have posted a lot of comments on other blogs about photo editing, and thank you all for your responses and advice.  You may already know that I don't really do any photo editing.  I want to, I just don't have the software and I find the free stuff online to be so basic that it doesn't really improve my photos.  I know most everyone uses Photoshop, right?  Does anyone use anything else?  I really love the collages where you can have different sizes of photos in one collage.  The online stuff does not let you do that unless you pay a monthly fee, and I would rather spend my money on good software.  I do have a Mac without Intel, and I know PSE 9 needs intel... grrrr.  Any advice here would be greatly appreciated! 

Day 49 - My Kids Had School!

We woke up late this morning.  I didn't panic because I assumed there would be no school.  I grabbed my Pandigital and checked the local news.  Wouldn't you know it?  Every school in our state was closed except the two that my children attend!  (Maybe not every one, but it sure seemed like it)

It was pretty nasty outside once the bus came to get Cameron, and I actually felt guilty letting him get on it.  I knew by noon it would be terrible on the roads.  Sure enough, by 9 a.m. both of their schools had announced an early release.  Don't worry, I didn't let him ride the bus home!

So, it wasn't really a snow day today.  The kids do not have to make up the day in June, but they came home early and we did some fun indoor activities.  Cameron had a friend over, so he was off and playing.  But Olivia and I were very busy playing together.

Olivia and I spent some time crafting.  She painted and made a wooden butterfly using the new craft supplies her cousin Ashley gave her for Christmas.  She had so much fun!

So, I know there is more than one photo in this post, but I have been feeling like 365 has taken over my blog.  I used to blog every few days, sometimes only once a week.  But the post was very detailed with lots of photos of my family and what we did.  I enjoy the conciseness of the 365 posts and I'm happy that it has got me posting every day, but sometimes I miss the detail and the photo overload!  SO here you go!!

I just love those little hands hard at work!

Later, when the boys were being rough and loud, Olivia and I decided to build a castle with her new castle blocks from her Uncle Nate and Aunt Jennifer.  We LOVE them.

Olivia was very proud of her castle.  I hope she wants to use them again tomorrow.  It was a very zen activity for me.

When I had had enough of the loud crazy boy thing, I sent them outside in the freezing cold snow storm to sled down the hill in the backyard.  Olivia joined them and actually stayed out the longest! Our backyard is actually a 3-par golf course owned by our landlord.  In the winter it is cross-country ski/snowshoeing trails.  It's pretty awesome and I will miss it when we move...

Ahh, that feels better now that it is out of my system!